Sesame Street 2016
by awabblertoday
Summary: Elmo Trump, Miss Piggy Clinton, Count von Nader... who will when the election?


* This is a weird little thing I've come up with on the spot to explain the 2016 election to a group of kids. I added some better descriptions from my election research and presto! I don't own these people/characters. AU Sesame Street/Muppets mash-up

Millionaire Elmo Trump marches down the stairs after another speech debate has gone sour. His silent campaign manager Mr. Noodle races down with some crayons and the cookie jar. Elmo disregards the crayons, being in no mood to draw. Mr. Noodle opens the cookie jar and gives one to Elmo, signing that they are running low. The limo driver, Teddy, suggests they visit the World Cookie Bank.

Former First Lady Miss Piggy Clinton watches as the Trump limo leaves. She is irritated and knows that debate could have gone much better if they hadn't lost their temper. She takes no notice of her campaign manager Rosita as she notices a certain write-in candidate giving an interview on the bus corner. She and Elmo are widely known, while not much is known about the write-in: Count von Nader.

As the Trump limo reaches the bank, Elmo is already on the ground, walking up the stairs. As a candidate, the public is willing to give him special treatment. The manager, Cookie Monster, greets him at the door with a chocolate milk. Elmo accepts the drink and heads to his main vault. Mr. Noodle and Teddy wait outside as Elmo relaxes in his wealthy cookie room.

Miss Piggy tries to keep a straight face as she and Rosita march into the room. Her husband, former SS President Kermit Clinton, is not offended by the outburst and holds her in his arms. He consoles her, calling Elmo rude names such as Clownstick and Agent Orange. Detective Guy Smiley sees the embrace and goes about talking over the election ballot with Rosita.

On the street, Robin Frog - Kermit's nephew - is the most well-respected news reporter. He is taking a census on what the people think about the upcoming election. He stops random passersby and asks for their opinion. He bounds to a rather large man, stopping him from tossing out a postal service uniform.

"You, Sir! Who do you think will win?"

"Me?"

"Yes, Sir." Robin smiles, gesturing that cameraman Telly turn toward him. "What is your name?"

"Snuffy Gration."

"What do you think of our candidates, Mr. Gration?"

"Oh, Elmo Trump for the win." He nods, trying to move away from the camera.

"Well, what do you think of Clinton?"

"You mean the Wicked Witch of the West Wing?"

Robin tries hard not to smile at the rude nickname. Before he can ask another question, Snuffy answers the question.

"I was a great agent and a wonderful mail carrier, but she ruined that for me. She got me fired, and now I need to leave Sesame Street. Elmo for the win!"

"Thank you, Mr. Gration." Robin moves away from him and toward three people arguing by the dumpster on the side of the street. "Hello, men. What seems to be the trouble?"

"The election, what else?" The man sifting through the trash answers.

The man in the vertical stripes folds his arms. "Elmo Trump says the truth. It may not be sugarcoated, but it's the truth."

"But he isn't promising anything." The man in the horizontal stripes complains. "Miss Piggy Clinton knows what the people want!"

"And what do you think, Sir?" Robin bypasses the whiners, and moves straight to the first man.

"It's a popularity contest." He holds up an old tennis shoe covered in grime. "This thing is more interesting."

"I take it you're not going to vote?"

"Oh, I'm going to vote." He counterattacks. "Who do you think submitted the write-in for Count von Nader? He listens to the people."

"Thank you, Mr?"

"Oscar. Yeah, yeah. Now, scram."

Robin and Telly then move to a very tall man, pacing to himself in a small alcove beside a store. He doesn't notice them at first and nearly jumps when Robin asks him about the election.

"Oh, I'm Bird. Sometimes people call me Big Bird."

"Nice to meet ya." Robin responds. "Who do you think the people should vote for?"

"Count von Nader." He answers automatically. "Miss Piggy Clinton is a liar and Elmo Trump is a bully. Count is an activist."

"Thank you, Big Bird."

Robin then continues down the rest of the area. He encounters Maria, who is torn between the candidates and doesn't want to vote in case she makes an enemy. Grover had gone into a rampage over how he would've made a better president than any of the current presidential candidates, but there is a lull in his voice implying he has low self-esteem. Gordon is voting for Miss Piggy because she has promised to tackle the danger of climate change. Zoe is ready for Elmo to be president because he is going to better healthcare. Clinton's healthcare ideas are conflicting while Trump is set to remove McGrathcare - the single-payer healthcare set up by previous SS President Bob McGrath that has been causing a lot of problems.

Harry is against voting and the Martians aren't legalized to vote. Alan is on Trump's side to help Sesame Street security. Prairie Dawn is on Clinton's side for defending Planned Parenthood and marriage equality. Count Nader also supports the LGBTQ community. After being on the street collecting interviews from even the underage crowd - like Abby Cadabby and her views on the self-righteous Count - Robin closes with his and Telly's views.

"Uh, I'm Telly. After all that I've seen today, I'm voting for Count Nader. Most probably."

"And I'm Reporter Robin Frog. To be honest, I'm not too sure who to vote for. These three are some great candidates for Sesame Street 2016."

The edited version broadcasts over televisions all around. Each candidate has some time on the screen. Elmo Trump pumps a fist in the air. "Make America Great Again."

Miss Piggy Clinton swivels around and a banner falls behind her. It reads, "Stronger Together I'm With Her."

Count von Nader is shown smiling to the crowd before turning to the camera with a smile. "Government Of, By, and For the People."

The camera scans through Sesame Street and the many people who make it. The camera finally pans to the top journalist.

"This is Reporter Robin Frog asking you, to do what you, feel is right."

+++++ So, there's the Sesame street election 2016. Who will win? +++++++++++ 


End file.
